Tuesday, 11 November 2014

The diabetes yo-yo

We have had type 1 in our life for coming up to six months now and we have come along way. From those paranoid first few weeks where we were almost scared of food, not helped by the fact our little boy had re discovered his appetite and wanted to eat all day long, I am not sure how many bags of carrots, cheese and cucumbers we brought. Learning to do finger prick tests and the joys of trying to sort repeat prescriptions out with the doctors surgery. The laughable way I thought I would easily be able to rotate his blood tests, one inside and outside each finger moving along his hand. What the hell was I thinking I am lucky now to grab a hand and keep him still long enough to do the test and the that bloody E4 honestly I think it's one of the most annoying reading and that bleep ringing in your ears. We both look at the monitor and shout oh no E4 and OB says silly mummy.

We know roughly what we are doing, but what I have come to witness is the level of constant stress. When people see me it's the first thing everyone asks how are the levels? Have you got them under control and it's very hard not to take this personally questioning if people are judging me about how under control OBs levels are. When you say we have had a few high days the normal response oh dear what's happened, what's he been doing. I take a deep breath tell myself they are not questioning you and attempt to answer that we just do not know the answer to. We wish we did  but it can just be a totally mystery, you try to analyse everything did he eat something different, less running around can it be associated with stress or the most common one, is he coming down with something.

But what I have found is that it's just constant and does not go away, your checking so regularly each day that the stress become normal, the wait to see what the monitor is going to pop up with. You think we have been good no carbs between meals and boom a high reading hits you, do you re test, do you leave it, do you need to correct every question enters your head. Even during school they may call you and your having to have these thought with someone else giving their opinion. I was not expecting this at all, I thought the stress would decrease as we got to grips but it just does not.  It's just always in the back ground teasing you.

Then to top this off you have the three monthly hospital appointment, please do not get me wrong our team are kind and caring, easy to talk to and always there to help us. But on that first apt my husband and I felt like two naughty school children and waiting for the results to come back I almost felt sick. We had done well in fact the best all day then you feel like jumping up and punching the air. But however when you leave it's the pressure of the next apt will the reading go up was it a fluke.

So it starts all over again......

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